A practical guide for moms (and dads!) navigating complex chronic illness - what I've learned about improvement from seeing over 100 clients with PANS/PANDAS, Autism, Lyme, COVID, and more.
A Note to the Mom Reading This
When my son was three, he woke up one morning with tics that took over his whole body. We saw specialists. They ran tests and couldn't tell us what was happening or what to do about it. I remember the fear, and I remember the exhaustion of holding everything together while searching for answers no one seemed to have.
My son has recovered. He's grown now, and he's well. That search led me to become a homeopath, and in the years since, I've worked with more than one hundred families walking the same road. I've watched children sleep through the night for the first time in years, find their words again, and come back to themselves.
If you're in the middle of it right now, this guide is what I wish someone had handed me at the beginning: what I see in my practice, why it happens, and where to start. You don't have to do it all at once, and you don't have to do it alone.
How Health Is Lost, and How It Comes Back
I think of every child as having a bucket. Everything that burdens the body goes into it: trauma, toxins, mold, infections, medications, processed food, poor sleep, stress, and hours on a screen. Our modern life is working against the health of our kids, and it’s showing. Everything that helps the body cope makes the bucket bigger: nourishing food, deep sleep, a healthy gut, time outside, connection, and a calm nervous system.
When the load is more than the bucket can hold, it overflows, and that's when we see symptoms. In the families I work with, it's almost never one thing. A regression usually follows a pile-up: an illness, then a round of antibiotics, then a season in a damp house, exposure to household chemicals and toxins, then a stressful stretch at home or at school. Each one alone might have been manageable. Together, they tipped the child over.
That's why improvement works on three fronts at once. I call it Wellness Personal Roadmap, and this is the formula: Load × Capacity × Rebalance:
• Reduce load: take things out of the bucket.
• Increase capacity: make the bucket bigger.
• Rebalance: homeopathy to help the body find its footing again, so it can do what it was designed to do.
Children are far more resilient when they aren't carrying a heavy toxic body burden, because that burden changes how their genes are expressed. The good news is that it works in reverse, too. When we lower the load and build capacity, the body heals.
What Improvement Looks Like in My Practice
The most powerful tool I have yet to come across is homeopathy. And yet, progress can still have ups and downs. When a well-chosen remedy works for a while and then stops working, I know I am either missing information, or there’s an ongoing burden, like mold, getting in the way of improvement.
That’s why I look at the whole picture, not just the diagnosis. I start homeopathic support while also looking for what may be keeping the body under stress. Sometimes that means finding water damage or mold at home, at school, or in the car and having it properly addressed. I also pay attention to the immune system, the nervous system, and what the body may be carrying.
The gut is another place I pay close attention. Constipation, loose stools, bloating, yeast, food reactions, and a very short list of foods come up again and again across diagnoses. I look at digestion, nutrition, and the microbiome as part of the bigger picture.
Flares can still happen, especially early on. Having a flare plan in place before you need it can be useful, so you’re not left wondering what to do when it happens.
PANS/PANDAS: Always Look for Mold
In my practice, almost every child with PANS/PANDAS has had mold in the picture. Sometimes it's obvious: mold on a window frame, a leak in the bathroom ceiling, a basement that smells musty. Sometimes it's hidden in a wall, a school building, and/or a car. Often the timing lines up - the illness began while the family was living in a damp house, or while the child was spending their days in a moldy school.
Infections are often the spark. Strep, Lyme, a urinary tract infection, a virus that moves through the family but gets stuck with the child: a child already carrying a heavy mold load gets sick, and the flare follows. Separation anxiety, tics, OCD, rage, sleep falling apart, a child who suddenly won't eat or won't leave the house. Many moms tell me their child flares after every illness.
Autism: A Body Carrying Too Many Toxins
In my practice, autism typically looks like a body carrying far more toxins than it can clear. And when I take a careful history, it usually doesn’t come on suddenly. Looking back, most moms can see that the load was building from the very beginning, often before their child was born.
The pattern often starts in pregnancy: an infection treated with antibiotics and Tylenol, other medications, vaccines given during pregnancy, a mother's own toxic and inflammatory load, and sometimes deep grief or stress. Then comes birth, possibly a C-section, antibiotics during delivery, and the shots given in the first hours of life. Then a baby who is sensitive from day one, with eczema, reflux, hours of crying, or sleep that never settles, followed by chronic ear infections and frequent rounds of antibiotics, Tylenol, and steroids. Layered on top are heavy metals like lead, plastics chemicals called phthalates, and possibly mycotoxins from a damp home. Some families do see a regression after vaccines, most often the MMR, but even then, that child was usually already carrying a full bucket. Autism is the overflow.
This isn't about blame. No mother could have seen these things coming, and most of us were never told. I share it because it means there's a path back: a load that built up over time can be lowered over time.
One little boy I think of, a composite of several children, had eczema as a newborn and never slept well. By his first birthday he'd had 4 ear infections, each treated with antibiotics and Tylenol. His milestones came slowly, and over the next year his mom noticed back sliding, with less eye contact, fewer words, and more time in his own world. When we began lowering his load, the first changes were small but noticeable: more eye contact, sleeping through the night, a little more of him present each day, more independence. That's often how improvement begins.
The gut is almost always part of the picture: constipation or loose stools, yeast, bloating, a very short list of foods, reactions to gluten, dairy, or food dyes. I can almost guarantee that every child who walks through the door of my practice needs gut microbiome support. A homeopathic clearing for a history of steroids can be amazing, as can homeopathic support for allergies that stir up an immune response. It can be useful to know exactly which substances are in the picture, because a child with mercury toxicity needs a different approach than a child with excessive Tylenol in their history. As the gut heals, important things can start to change: I’ve seen children eight or nine years old, recovering language and beginning potty training within weeks of a well-indicated remedy.
Long COVID: When the Virus Leaves but the Illness Stays
In my practice, long COVID looks like a body that was already carrying a heavy load when the virus arrived. The infection was the last thing into an already full bucket. What follows can look like a dozen different illnesses: a sore throat or low fever that keeps coming back, exhaustion that sleep doesn't correct, muscle pain, trouble regulating temperature, nausea, brain fog, and anxiety or OCD that wasn't there before.
One girl I think of, a composite of several children, caught COVID in a year that was already hard for her family, with moves, illness, and losses at home. Afterward, the sore throats and fevers never quite left, her energy disappeared, and her world got smaller as the family pulled back to protect her. Improvement didn't come all at once. The fevers spaced out, the sore throats came less often, and her energy came back slowly, until one day she told me she hadn't been tired lately.
The work is the same as with any chronic illness: lower the load the virus landed on, help the body clear what it's still holding, and calm a nervous system that has been on high alert. Fear is part of the load, too, for your child and for you. It's completely understandable, and it deserves care of its own.
Long Lyme: It Rarely Travels Alone
In my practice, long Lyme almost never shows up by itself. Mold is nearly always in the picture as well, along with other infections like strep or Epstein-Barr, and often a season of heavy stress. Many of these children and adults are poor detoxifiers, with genetics such as MTHFR and HLA DR/DQ that make it harder to clear what they're exposed to, so the load builds faster than it drains.
The symptoms tend to look like: joint pain, fatigue with collapses in the late afternoon or evening, crashes after exertion, brain fog and trouble finding words, anxiety, tics or OCD, and flares after any new exposure or illness. I see families do round after round of treatment aimed at the Lyme alone and wonder why their child isn't better. When brain fog comes back, I ask about water damage before anything else, and just like with PANS/PANDAS, often the answer has been that there’s mold in the house.
That’s why I don’t look at Lyme in isolation. When progress stalls or symptoms return, I look again at what else may be contributing to the child’s overall load.
POTS, Dysautonomia, and Chronic Fatigue
POTS, dysautonomia, ME/CFS, mast cell activation, and similar conditions have different names, but they are all multi-systemic, long lasting, and the result of too much load for too long. I approach them the same way. Each one is a sign of a system that has been overloaded for too long: a nervous system stuck on high alert, energy that crashes after exertion, a body that can't regulate heart rate, temperature, or blood pressure the way it should. I look for the same things in the bucket, including mold, infections, toxins, and stress or trauma. Then I support increasing capacity with sleep, nourishment, sunlight, and gentle movement as tolerated, and help the body and nervous system rebalance. The diagnoses matter, but I also want to understand what’s driving the symptoms and making improvement harder.
Where to Start, Mom
These are things everyone can do, and you don't need to do everything this week. Pick one thing from each list and start there.
REDUCE THE LOAD
• Look for water damage and mold at home, at school, and in the car. If you suspect it, get a professional inspection.
• Clear out toxic cleaning and personal care products, starting with anything fragranced.
• Cut out dairy, gluten, ultra-processed foods, sugary drinks, and dyes. Don’t hesitate; do it.
• Cut screen time down to 30 minutes. Screens overstimulate the nervous system and disrupt sleep, two things these kids can’t afford.
BUILD CAPACITY
• Protect sleep like medicine.
• Nourish first: real food, and the nutrients your child is missing. Cook from scratch as much as you can. Eating a Paleo diet was amazing for my household and I’ve seen it be important for so many clients. Take that seriously
• Get adequate hydration.
REBALANCE
• Homeopathy supports the body to clear what it's been holding and come back into balance. Work with a professional homeopath – these are complex conditions and require the perspective of someone that understands the important remedies and understands what the healing process looks like.
• Calm the nervous system, your child's and your own. Simple breathing, time outdoors, and predictable routines help more than you'd expect.
HOW TO KNOW IT'S WORKING
• Flares come less often, are less intense, and pass more quickly.
• Small wins add up: a calmer morning, being more present, showing more independence, a better night's sleep, a new word.
• Lab numbers may change before symptoms do. Or symptoms may change before labs do.
• Improvement isn't a straight line. Backslides happen, especially after an illness or a new exposure, and they don't mean you've failed.
Finally, take care of you, and find the moms on your same path. When my son was sick, other mothers were my lifeline. You aren't meant to carry this alone.
Your Next Step
If you'd like help putting this into practice for your child, I'd love to talk. You can learn about working with me and schedule an appointment at https://suemckinleyhomeopathy.as.me And if you want the bigger picture, my book, The Wellness System: The Second Half of Healthcare, will be available early 2027 on Amazon and it goes deeper into why chronic illness is rising across our population, and what we can do about it.
This guide shares my experience as a homeopath and a mother. It isn't medical advice and doesn't replace care from your child's doctor.