Spotlight on Homeopathy for Grief Support
May is Mental Health Awareness month and this month I want to talk about the experience of grief for parents of kids with complex and chronic conditions like PANS/PANDAS. Grief is the natural human response to the experience of loss. Caring for a child with chronic illness can create a persistent, low-level grief due to various losses:
Loss of the sense and belief in “what could have been”
Loss of the family life they envisioned
Loss of the marriage as it was as both partners navigate separately and differently
Loss of connection and support from loved ones that don’t “get it”
Loss of connection and isolation from the community and friends
Loss of a hope for the future child in the future
Caregiver grief is REAL.
As a mother of a child formerly diagnosed with PANS/PANDAS, I know the grief of a caregiver well. It wasn’t usually my most identifiable emotion but, if I looked deeper for even a minute, it was usually right there under the surface. A sense of repressed grief and heartache.
Grief can be experienced in many ways, including repetitive thoughts about the situation, difficulty falling asleep, attempting to avoid feelings associated with the situation, losing interest in activities you typically enjoy, and intense emotions such as fear, anger, and feeling isolated.
Caregiver grief is natural. It is difficult to be doing well as a parent while having a child that is struggling. That said, there are things to do to help support caregivers in the midst of having a child that is struggling.
Support for Caregiver Grief
So what to do if you’re experiencing caregiver grief?
Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
Join a support group - the parents of other children with PANS/PANDAS are brilliant and compassionate and can create a sense of understanding and support.
Practice mindfully breathing, deeply and slowly, in a moment that is safe from interruption.
Feel what you feel. Give it a name. Hold it gently and send love to the part of your body where you’re holding that emotion - maybe a lump in your throat, maybe a fast heart rate and shallow breathing, maybe a knot in your stomach.
Give and get more hugs. They’re healing.
Eat more veggies and drink more water. They are physically grounding for a body.
Reduce caffeine, excessive screen time, and other stimulating things.
Get a break whenever possible. Practice art, singing, being in nature, and whatever brings you peace and joy.
Consider getting homeopathic care for yourself.
Common Homeopathic Remedies for Grief Support
Homeopathy is always about treating the whole individual, looking at the “who” that is experiencing the grief, rather than the “what” or the grief that is being experienced. A homeopath will work with each client to individually understand their expression of grief. There are many good homeopathic remedies that can be supportive to caregivers experiencing grief. A few classic remedies include:
Ignatia - For feelings of grief with a sense of sorrow and, possibly, internal hysteria. There can be a sense of shock over what has happened or is happening. Can also include the sensation of a lump in the throat.
Natrum muriaticum - For long standing grief accompanied by feelings of deep sadness and persistent thoughts of the past. A person that benefits from Nat-m is typically more reserved and less comfortable talking about their emotions.
Pulsatilla - Tearful grief with a sense of abandonment and a desire for company. A person that benefits from Pulsatilla is drawn to sharing emotions and physical support such as hugs and being held.
Phosphoric acid - For people feeling burned out, out of gas, and depleted with physical weakness that started after the onset of the grief. There may be difficulty sleeping due to worry, despite the fatigue.
Testimonial
“Since starting the remedy I haven’t had that hysterical feeling of needing to cry throughout the day, of needing to go be by myself to cry. It’s gone. And I feel like I’m better able to manage the lows in my days. When something happens with my son, I’m not as hypervigilant, not as worried. Before I just couldn’t handle or manage things. Like yesterday, something happened, and I didn’t get that constant feeling of dread and grief.”
~ Doreen, mother of a 13 year old boy with PANS/PANDAS
Caregiving for kids with PANS/PANDAS is a long-term endeavor and the grief of having a child that is struggling is real. Take care of yourself. Reach out today to start your healing journey.
If you or someone you know would like to learn more about how homeopathy can support a caregiver experiencing grief, reach out today!